The Anticipation of the Rant
Ever since last week’s rest day post, I’ve been obsessed with trying to find something that makes me furious enough to rant about. Problem is, the world has evidently run out of stupid this week (and by “the world” I mean things that happen in my direct line of site on a daily basis). Not one fucking person has tied a girl to a car, tied a baby to their chest with a crushing amount of weight directly over the aforementioned baby’s “domepiece”, or given my gym a poor rating on Yelp despite the fact they’ve NEVER EVEN BEEN IN MY GYM.
Side rant… Yelp can literally burn to the ground with the heat of a nuclear warhead being detonated directly into their collective scrotums. Let me get this straight… You weasely MFers only allow comments from DORKS who rate enough bullshit for you to approve of, then when my legitimate clients attempt to rate something you put it in a “filtered” category which is harder to find than a Twinkie in Robb Wolf’s house? THEN you call me every week offering to SELL ME something that will boost my ratings?
You here that, Yelp? That’s the sound of the Enola Gay about five miles out. Oh, that red dot on your taint? It’s probably just a stain.
(Yes, I realize I mixed a 70-year-old B-29 Bomber with the modern weapons technology of a laser site in the above scenario. Fuck off, it’s my visual.)
I mean would it kill someone to just do something we could make fun of? Don’t we need another opportunity to hike our noses to the sky and continue to reinforce the eleetness of pretty much every thing we do every single damn day?
Would it kill someone to try a 185# Snatch, miss it behind, and have it come horrifically crashing down on them? Then we could watch their 5-year-old son run directly past, clearly so entertained by a foam roller that they can’t be bothered to stop and see if mommy is dead or alive? No way anything cool like that would ever happen.
You obviously didn’t catch the Kim Kardashian/CF/TMZ video posted yesterday/today. Ask Drywall about it…possibly rant able material.
any info on the shirts.
Rudy, Yelp sucks. That is all.
Actually, that’s not all. Here’s a link to a blog post I wrote about those fuckers for my gym. http://crossfitelysium.com/as-rxd/entry/yelp-sucks
Oh man. As a parent this video gave me serious lulz. my 1 year old can’t keep herself off the platform but there is no way I could top this video
Rudy said ‘taint’. My day is better.
This is absolute Gold! Due to timezone differences your blog hits my desk just before lunch and it makes my day. I’m still waiting with baited breath for the final part of your dissertation on longer metcons’s. BTW nice visual of the Enola Gay laser sighting Yelp.
Here go what I hate.
Unfinished promise posts.
My OCD can’t handle these loose ends.
or that video on jerk block construction
We want gear!! I’ve been working out naked for months now lol
I love the rant about not having anything to rant… And Kim kardashians “boot camp” is definitely rant-able
Maybe the Indiegogo WOD Diaries “pilot” episode?!?!
Don’t know why but the dude hobbling across the gym at the very start of the video with the cast on his foot and 45# plates in his hands makes the laugh almost as much as the kid w/ foam roller/PVC pipe.
Video broke at girl tied to car : /
Oh well, just leave this here then…
You could rant about how a school wants a deaf boy to change his name because the sign for his name looks like a gun
I’m gonna rant about the grammar of your rant.
I would be happy to rant about the stupid hurricane that has screwed my FW flight progression in the C-12 without actually being near Fort Rucker. But it’s cool, not as cool as a deaf kid making the gun sign or yelp extorting small businesses, actually that is not cool at all… At least I now know that it is true that if you don’t poke holes in a spaghetti squash, it will explode. True story, big mess.
OMFG! The OHS w/ baby. How’d I miss that. Good game CF. Thnx for repost.
Laser site on the taint that’s just a stain = Gold
dude. love your work but dunno how morphing into a drywall/epic/armen replacement is going to cosy up to brown nosing the dudes at HQ and toeing the party line. or is it the old, make fun of the players, not the game, and it’s ok. i guess so.
Just mix in some videos on the games site and an interview with Crossfit radio and things are all cozy again. It’s like the crazy girl that used to show up at your apartment and the sex was incredible. But then she never leaves when you want her to. And her dad starts calling and driving around your place looking for her. Eventually you stop letting her in and a few years later you see her begging for change in Harvard square and decide to have her over one more time. After all she wasn’t that crazy right? And she doesn’t live at her parents house anymore.
It’s a rest day. Relax.
It takes mad skillz to use the words Twinkie and taint in the same paragraph and have it make sense. LULZ
Rant in disguise. Nice.
More like an AC-130 Gunship, “you can run, but will only die tired”
Kim Kardashian doing Crossfit…
>All of my rage
The dude in the background doing cleans, pulls with his arms like a champ…just saying
Here Rudy, http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?v=3857012017165&set=vb.1034286676&type=2&theater
you should have some fun with this…
Made my day.
Thanks for sharing it Drywall, you made my day.
I had a question for whomever would like to answer it. After reading this article, it made me think of possible reasons the Outlaw ladies outperformed the Outlaw men in standings, aside from the competitors. Basically, it talks about women responding more favorably, in both hypertrophy and strength, to higher volume strength and conditioning programs with percentages closer to their one rep maxes than men due to variations in neuromuscular efficiency, women’s being lower then men’s. I was wondering, is there anything to this?
You spoke too soon!