So we’re finally getting our shit together, and working on the new website. It’s going to have a million new features (give or take 999,846), including: a full gym/large group version of the program, private message boards, demo videos for just about everything, and most importantly, everything will be in the same place. A completely new aspect of the site will be the Outlaw Strength & Conditioning program. This is very near and dear to my heart, and will basically be a version of the program for those of you who have no desire to compete in “the sport of fitness”. To be honest (partially), I decided to do this because I was tired of hearing Drywall bitch about doing double-unders, and we have had many requests for a more general version of the program. With that being said, I asked Drywall—in his ever so subtle way—to write something to announce the program. Here’s what Mr. Happy wrote:
I Don’t Give a Fuck About “The Sport of Fitness”
When I got to the conditioning part of last Saturday’s workout, that AIDS-inducing chipper, I said “fuck this.” Then I ran a few gassers and pushed a sled. Outlaw. Fuck yeah.
I’m getting ahead of myself.
Rudy and I became friends about a year and a half ago, the same way I meet everyone nowadays: making fun of shit online. We text a lot, mostly lying about our cock sizes, whether or not his beard makes him look fat, and how much we like texting. You know, guy stuff.
One day he’s all “I have this sweet program I want to use on a test group, it put 3 inches on Brandon’s quads and 5 points on his Wonderlic score” and I’m all like “do I get to work out by myself in the corner? I hate people.” Done and done. Perfect match.
Except for the focus on pointless conditioning movements that I don’t give a fuck about.
A lot of you, like Rudy, have a raging hard-on for exercise competitions. You’re all mentally defective, every goddamn one of you.
This isn’t an exercise-vs-real-sports argument (I already won that argument). Being serious, I think any competition that motivates you to work hard and stay in shape is a good thing. It’s just that if I’m going to spend
an hour 3 hours in the gym every day, I want to run faster and jump higher, not be the best at kipping.
You’re probably wondering why I’m roasting the entire Outlaw following. The truth? I’m not. More and more people follow this site every day, and less and less of these people are here because they want to go to the Games. The word is out: the methodology behind this program will make you strong, conditioned, and a shit-ton better at Oly lifting. It’s not a competitive exercise program, it’s a strength and conditioning program that emphasizes “the sport of fitness”. If you want to use it to kip your way to a nice payday like Talayna, go for it.
Otherwise, stayed tuned for the Outlaw S&C program. More sprint work, more heavy shit, equally anti-social.